Are you really happy? The difference between happiness and pleasure

Misha Jan Avatar
Are you really happy? The difference between happiness and pleasure

Are you really happy? Do you feel fulfilled moment to moment or do you put off your happiness for the weekend, next year’s vacation, or the next meeting with your buddies?

What makes you happy? Is it the new car you bought, the promotion at work, or the compliment you received from your crush?

To what length does your happiness last? Are your times of joy fleeting moments dawned back into boredom and misery at night?

To what extent have you experienced happiness? Do you really experience the full capacity of happiness that lies within you or are you just scratching the surface tasting ephemeral feelings?

There are 2 chemicals in your brain that you should familiarize yourself with which will help you differentiate between happiness and pleasure. The two neurotransmitters being explored in this article are dopamine and serotonin. While both promote positive feelings, the experiences differ. Neither is better or worse than the other and both have a vital role to place in a healthy balanced lifestyle.

Pleasure: The dopamine dragon

Dopamine is the chemical related to reward, motivation, and productivity[1]. It allows us to feel pleasure. Why is it called the dopamine dragon? Simply because it’s always on the run. It is never where you are, it always lies in the next destination, promotion, car, or money. Dopamine helps us function and keeps us going. Without it, we wouldn’t achieve much. But is often confused with what happiness really is.

Picture this; you work so hard to make your first million and as soon as you land it you’re quickly rewarded with a burst of intense pleasure that slowly fleets into a renewed desire and drive to reach another million. And so the chase begins again.

You dream about the new car you’ve been wanting all year and you finally get it. A flood of dopamine rushes through your body and it feels so pleasurable to finally have that new car. As time goes by, the novelty of the new cars seizes to thrill you. So off the goes the dopamine dragon on its next adventure placing its happiness yet again on the next coolest car. The chase for novelty never ends.

To help put pleasure/dopamine into better perspective for you, let me tell you a story. I remember a time watching a cat chase after a mouse that had gotten into the home. The cat would chase the little mouse all around, and when he’d finally catch the mouse he’d hold it in his little paws and stare at it. I was expecting to see the mouse get devoured in enjoyment. However, the cat would let the mouse go and repeatedly continue to chase it until he’d catch it again, followed by losing temptation and releasing the mouse, only to repeat the cycle again and again. It is in the chase that dopamine is released, it is in the chase where pleasure is experienced.

Have you ever seen a hamster on a wheel? That is what is happening when an individual’s happiness relies on chasing dopamine-centered pleasures. The pleasure comes in bursts but it is never there when you are at rest in the moment.

Happiness: The Serotonin Satori

Serotonin is the chemical related to happiness, fulfillment, and peace[2]. Why is it called the serotonin satori? Because when cultivated it is a place of acceptance and peace, maybe you can call that enlightenment. Serotonin is famously known as the ‘mood stabilizing’ chemical and we know that balance is key to greater overall life satisfaction.

Imagine yourself at the beach. Look down at your feet pressing into the soft sand as you walk towards the wave. You feel the gentle breeze and fresh ocean smell. You turn over your shoulder and look back at all your family and friends conjointly laughing and conversing. At this moment you feel at ease. You are fully immersed in the moment and grateful for all the sensory you feel in the current moment. Time is moving slow, but fast. You are at peace and your heart is warm. This is what serotonin feels like.

Serotonin is cultivated by an accumulation of many instances such as the time you held the door open for that old couple and your heart fluttered. Or the time you helped your younger sister comprehend a homework question she was having difficulty with and the sense of fulfillment you felt by being of service to her. Let’s give a name to these specific emotions felt.

Love

It is the joy you felt for another person seeing them reach a milestone. Think back to a moment when you experienced a warm unconditional feeling of love, that is the feeling of serotonin storming your system[3]. It may be a love you received from a family member or a friend. It may be a love that you felt towards someone else. A love that is pure, whole with no conditions attached. A love of giving and nurturing; deep unconditional love. What did that feel like?

Joy

Think of a time you felt true joy within someone else. A completely selfless joy in which you found yourself being completely happy for someone else. Studies have shown that serotonin is increased with charitable actions[4]. The warm, fluttery feeling in your heart you felt while being proud for someone as they overcame an obstacle in their life. This is a truly selfless joy that you’ve experienced through the experience of someone else.

Appreciation

We all have things in our life that we can be grateful for. Whether it is the simple things such as the clean water we have to drink or the food we have available to us. You may be thankful for the relationships in your life or some of the positive experiences you’ve been able to share. Think back to a time when you felt the strongest feelings of appreciation for your day-to-day life.

The Serotonin Satori feels peaceful and heart-filling. One should attempt to maximize this feeling in their life. The Dopamine Dragon plays a vital role in our growth. However, chasing pleasure with the goal of happiness is like running on a hamster wheel. Read more about Happiness 101: How to Release Serotonin.

  1. Juárez Olguín, Hugo et al. “The Role of Dopamine and Its Dysfunction as a Consequence of Oxidative Stress.” Oxidative medicine and cellular longevity vol. 2016, doi:10.1155/2016/9730467
  2. Dfarhud, Dariush et al. “Happiness & Health: The Biological Factors- Systematic Review Article.” Iranian journal of public health vol. 43. 2017.
  3. Bode, Adam, and Geoff Kushnick. “Proximate and Ultimate Perspectives on Romantic Love.” Frontiers in psychology vol. 12 573123. 12 Apr. 2021, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.573123
  4. Steenbergen, Laura et al. “Tryptophan promotes charitable donating.” Frontiers in psychology vol. 5 1451. 17 Dec. 2014, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01451

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