Acceptance is the cure for insecurity, relationships, trauma, anxiety, and depression.
What is Acceptance?
Acceptance embodies both surrender and faith. Accepting means to see and to validate.
The 3 Pillars:
1. Acceptance: In order to be in a state of acceptance, one must first accept whatever it is that needs to be acknowledged. Without acceptance, one cannot fully see, because you are in a state of denial, repression, or suppression.
2. Surrender/letting go: After acceptance comes letting go (surrender) and having faith (trust). Surrender means to let go of trying to control. It includes mental control of how you expect things “should go” or “should be”. You must let go of whatever your mental attachment is.
3. Faith/trust: Then finally, you can open your awareness to unknown possibilities by having faith that this is for the best. Knowing that everything happens at the right time, for the right reason.
Insecurity
Insecurity is a lack of self-worth. Insecurity is a state of not loving yourself. To attain true self-love and self-worthiness, you must learn to see and accept who you truly are.
That means:
- Accepting your flaws, shortcomings, and mistakes.
- Letting go of the idea of being like a certain person or attaining a certain level of status.
- Trusting that you are enough as you are, and the people who will love you most in this life will love you as your authentic self with all your “flaws”.
Relationships
There are multiple dimensions to a relationship. However, in its essence, acceptance is the core component of the majority of solutions to relationship-related problems. Here are some examples of applying the concept of acceptance to relationships:
Functional Relationship:
- Accepting to see the person for who they truly are.
- Letting go of trying to control them. Letting go of ideas of a perfect relationship or perfect person.
- Trusting that your partner has good intentions.
Toxic Relationship:
- Accepting that it is time for the relationship to end because this may not be the person for you.
- Letting go of them. Surrendering the attachment.
- Having faith that the right person for you is out there and that everything happens at the right time.
After Ending a Relationship:
- Accepting to see the red flags.
- Letting go of attachments to them completely.
- Trusting that this happened for a reason and that a good future awaits you.
Being single:
- Accepting where you are in your journey.
- Letting go of expectations. Letting go of rushing, forcing, or being desperate.
- Having faith that you are where you need to be and the right person will meet you at the right time.
Trauma
Trauma is always a complex subject because individual experiences, environments, and circumstances differ. However, the pain that is associated with trauma fluctuates from person to person. Some people recover quickly, while others spend a long time to fully recover from the implications of their experience.
- Accepting to see what happened and fully accept what happened.
- Letting go of blame, victimhood, or attaching yourself to the experience. Letting go of any negative labels or associations to the event.
- Trusting that you will/have healed and learned from the experience.
Anxiety
Anxiety is being stuck in the future. It is stress, it is a racing mind. It stems from your thoughts most of the time. Anxiety is often a worry about upcoming events such as what your future looks like, what response you will get, or what will happen tomorrow. In social anxiety, there is often the fear of messing up and wondering what people think of you. A crucial key component that is neglected during anxiety is surrender. People who have anxiety often have an abundance of preconceived scripts of how things are supposed to go.
As for all examples, there are many examples to play with, but here is one to help you wrap your head around the idea:
- Accepting that you are where you need to be in life.
- Surrendering control, plans, and the need to know everything.
- Trusting the that whatever is unknown is either good or for your good (even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment).
Depression
Depression is being stuck in the past. It is sorrow, it is a narrow and negative outlook on life. People experiencing depression tend to reminisce about the past. Stuck in emotions such as guilt, regret, and shame. This can occur after a variety of experiences such as the death of a loved one, making a wrong financial decision, or doing something you feel ashamed of.
Acceptance in depression, or being sad/stuck in the past can feel miserable. It feels even worse when it is persistent. To get out of your grief, here is an example of how accepting thoughts would look:
- Accepting that it happened and you can not change anything not. It is out of your control.
- Letting go of trying to change the past. Letting go of overthinking. Letting go of control. Letting go of escaping the negative emotions you are experiencing.
- Having faith that you will overcome whatever obstacle there is.
Ask yourself what it is you need to accept in your life to help you lift the blockages you may have. Ultimately, you know yourself best.
Acceptance: I See
Surrender: I release
Faith: I trust
-M.J.
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